It is dawn.
Dad used to tell me.. Its was his four mile ordeal daily through the woods to school, that kept him fit and fiddle throughout his life. Grandpa, may his soul rest in peace, always said.. it was his work in the paddy fields which gave him calmness and peace of mind.
So says everybody of the generation past. So be it.
.
I’m here in this lonely room, in this ‘not-so-lonely city’. I’m an Engineer, for that matter. Rather unfortunately pathetic one. All I can hear from this room is, horns and clatters and construction noise. There is a hell lot of noise, yes. Still, It seems like i’m alone here.
.
Aah!! Banglore. For beginners, its paradise. For me, its nothing but a concrete jungle.
It is dawn. But I can’t see the sun. There is light. But all I can see is, shadows. I feel like lurking like a vermin in the shadow.
.
Five years back, I was the happiest person. was on cloud No.9, I was. Seemed like I’m on top of the world. Seemed like I ruled everything around me. Thought, I was happy, then.
I was wrong. Terribly wrong
.
It was not long, that I started observing this. I rarely see the sun. huh!! I meet my room-mate even rarer. Apart from the mechanical-men and stray dogs and mosquitoes (yeah definitely mosquitoes.. plenty of ‘em), I donot see any living creature either! It is like, even when I walk along the crowd, I seemed to be alone.
Correction: I AM bloody alone.
.
Hence began this weird routine of mine. At noon, whenever I could see the sun at last, I would get to the window panel, look up to catch a glimpse.
To see one real thing. To realize that I’m real. To realize that I’m alive.
Rainy days are bad. yeah! real bad. And I hate it when it rains at noon. whether it be rain or discussions, I would love to hate anything that prevents me for reaching my only Ecstasy. My only chance to smile for once.
.
A couple more minutes, and we’ll part for the day. And me, back to the shadows.
.
I used to be fan of Lord of the Rings. Used to have goosebumps when Gandalf yelled to Balrog at the Bridge of Khazad-dum.
I am the servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor…”
The dark fire will not avail you, Balrog! You Flame of Udûn.Go back to the abyss, you creature of filth. Go back to where you came from.YOU–SHALL–NOT–PASS
Used to have goosebumps, then.
Now, I feel pity. I sympathize him, who is a bound for all eternity in the darkness.
For I know what is that he feels.
For I fear, That I’m bound to this hell to the end of my days. Bound to this hell for ever.
.
It is dusk. The shadows are lengthening. And my daily quota to smile is over. For a person who spend most of his time in the shadows, I should have been named Balrog.
.
Correction: My Name IS Balrog
February 21, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Short story writing competition guys have this ne bad habit.
“Guys, there’s word limit.. 250″
“what if i exceed it?”
“then u’re out. sodd off”
Pissed.
Guys, telling u frankly, i donot “love” to write on negative topics. Especially when you’re given something like “shadows”. But I did write.
Once I caught the gig, wanted to write more.. But to preserve the authenticity, I put it here like it was.
Its up to u to lash me!!
February 21, 2008 at 8:10 pm
By the way, This post is for Thomas, Who wants me to write creative.
bro, all this crap was written within a 30 min timebound.. so, no creativity as such..
still, i do believe i did well.
There is a wisdom of heart and wisdom of mind.
And you need a wisdom of soul, to choose from the other two.
May the Light shower all the wisdoms upon us.
February 21, 2008 at 8:54 pm
here there everywer,u are like a character from lotr…anyway dont forget…finally their destiny every1’s destiny will be to fight and die for the empire ROHAN….
p.s:-story writing shit was good…i took 4 sheets,2 for ruf writing and all….i saw amazed eyes of ppl especially gals from other batches,like..”wtf wat’s this asshole writing this much”..ha ha
February 21, 2008 at 9:29 pm
haha!! i know.. even meril was telling the same..
not the asshole part.. but something similar!!
Genuvi was looking at u as if u’ve gone nuts..
abey!! what to say, even i thought so.. like, u were writing and writing and writing.. non stop!!
how was it, anyways?? did’em well?
February 21, 2008 at 10:22 pm
ya man did ‘em quite well….but my story was full of blood….bloody…ya it was bloody…
February 22, 2008 at 6:38 am
this is absolutely not fair!!!
i thot my storys a master piece, and now i’m looking at this, feeling stupid ’bout my story.
cinema dialogue use cheithu ellareim veezhthaan pattoola!!!
and… when did i tell u anythng about Rohan.
i only loked at legin n meethu. no one elz…
nonayan!!
but then ..yor story is real good.and i’m JEALOUS…grrrr
February 22, 2008 at 12:56 pm
eh!! I’m bluss\hing, feel falttered and terribly airy!!
thusi thanks ho!!
Abey whence did you got hit wt shrt term mmry loss??? u did tel about rohan..
nothing to prove that u didn’t. ryt?
hehe, I presume, whn the results come, it’ll hav ur name on top
and i’ll hav to kick you double time.. grrr.
February 22, 2008 at 6:15 pm
les see..
wens the next post gonna b out??
February 22, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Its posted..:) a pathetic attempt on the essays!
February 22, 2008 at 11:47 pm
During the 1st Age, according 2 Silmarillion, the Balrogs were originally of Middle earth, of the same order as Sauron, Saruman and Gandalf. But later they became seduced by Morgoth, who corrupted them 2 his service b4 the making of Arda.. If u fall 4 Seduction, coquetry etc u’ll have no chance at the life’s war of warth n’ll have 2 flee and hide in the bowels of the earth..;)
bro.. this one was a good attempt.. i said about the wisdom of heart n head(quoted charls dickens).. now how is sole different from heart..?? its u and not the sole that makes the choice..
February 23, 2008 at 7:17 am
There are times, when we should listen to the heart’s desire, and times whn we should listen to mind’s command.
It is one wisdom above the comprehension of us, which should decide what is that is needed.
usually, mind symbolises career, stress, typical corporate decisions. and heart, compassion, love and the stuff.
told it the way i felt!
The fist line of the quote may belong to
mr. Dickn’s. but the appending belongs to me
PS: seriously, me rohan and you should get together for one goddamn discussion!! LOtR is one heall of a fantasy to discuss about!
February 23, 2008 at 7:24 am
hmm.. kollam. bt jeevs, you didn’t hav 2 b this -ive. Atleast 2 da end, u could’ve gone 4 da theme, “hope”
February 27, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Hi. Surprised to be on your blogroll. don’t remember visiting your blog before. Thanks anyway
Coming to the artcile, that was pretty depressing. But,yeah such is life!
February 27, 2008 at 7:13 pm
@vaishno
It is not required that u read my blog. No,
It just says, i read ur blog and feels that others should read it too.
well, thats the blogroll. ryt?
about the post.
yea. its negative. and quite depressing. But that is exactly what i wanted to convey. The tiring monotony and lonlieness.